Wednesday, September 7, 2016

The Carpenter


I enjoy doing work around my house.  Whether it be mowing the yard, trimming the bushes, even building furniture for our house, I get a lot of joy from working a task through to completion, and I take a lot of pride in a job well done.  The problem is that when you are in the midst of doing a job, you often find other problems that also have to be fixed.  It's like those house flipping shows on TV.  "Wow, I can't believe we have to redo all the electrical in this 1922 model house.  I was sure that it would be up to 2016 code!  This is really going to blow the budget!"  You get what I'm saying.

I was thinking about this last night in relation to my walk with Jesus.  In many ways, I'm like an old house that Jesus is still working on.  How perfect is it that He was a carpenter?  "Oh wow, check out these old feelings of resentment here!  Look over there, that temper of his is really going to be a problem.  I can't leave that."  I wonder if these are the things Jesus is saying to himself (and to me!) as I walk with him and try to know him better?  I believe they are.  I know they are.  The question I've always wondered is does He love me in spite of them? 

I find in the Christian church you have two distinct sects of people.  You have the works people who quote scriptures like "faith without works is dead" and then you have the grace people who quote scriptures like "I am convinced that nothing can separate me from the love of Jesus."  All my life, I've been wrestling with this issue and trying to decide what is correct.  I'm still not entirely certain of my conclusions, but for me, I think it comes down to Peter. 

Everyone knows that Peter denied Christ.  It's shown in Mark, Luke, and John.  The story shows that not only did Peter deny Christ, but that he did it 3 times.  The last time, he even got angry and cursed at the people.  I sure am glad I've never done anything like that…. I asked myself this morning, was Peter a Christian at that moment?  Of course, he was.  He had just spent 3 years walking with Jesus.  Now, think about that.  I try to walk with Jesus.  I try to pray.  I try to have a relationship.  But let's be honest, most of the time, it feels kind of one-sided.  At least, that's true for me.  But, it wasn't true for Peter.  Peter literally walked with Jesus.  They were companions.  They were great friends.  They undoubtedly fished together.  They probably built furniture, too.  Peter knew what kind of jelly Jesus liked on his biscuits, the kind of jokes Jesus thought were funny, what the name of Jesus' dog was.  I wish I knew those things.  Don’t you?  Can you imagine what it would be like to know Jesus as deeply as you know your spouse, your brother, or your best friends?  I can't deny I'm envious of that.  Even with that knowledge and companionship, Peter still had to make a choice though, right?  I mean after all, in Matthew 16:13-20, Jesus specifically asked his disciples who he was, and it was Peter who replied, "You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God."  That's a profession of faith.  That's the moment, for me, when Peter becomes a Christian.  Can't you hear people singing on the way to the swimming pool for baptismal "I have decided to follow Jesus, no turning back, no turning back"?  That's the moment his life should've been changed, right?  So, what happens then outside the garden?  Who is this other Peter?  This Peter who is afraid.  This Peter who is filled with doubt.  Where is the Peter who in Matthew 17 had been on the mountain with Moses, Elijah, and Jesus whose face had "shone like the sun" and was confirmed by a voice from heaven saying "This is my Son, whom I love; with Him I am well pleased.  Listen to Him"?  How could this be?  When you have a moment of professed faith, isn't that it?  After that, aren't you supposed to be free from sin? 

So what is it I'm talking about?  I mean really?  Now, I'm no theologian, and I certainly don't claim to be.  I'm just a normal guy with a normal job and a normal life trying to know Jesus.  Trying to be like Him.  But growing up in the church, I was taught that the term sanctification is what I'm describing above.  I was always taught that sanctification was an instantaneous event.  That once sanctified, the hold of sin on your life would be forever broken.  I think that's true, but I think it sells it short.  Don't get me wrong, do I believe in deliverance and victory over sin?  Certainly!  My grandfather talked of smoking a pipe until he was sanctified and then being instantly delivered from it.  I've also heard stories of people delivered from drugs, alcohol, and other sins in similar ways.  I'm sure you have, too.  Likewise, I've heard of folks who were healed of cancer and other life threatening diseases.  On the other hand, I've seen people pray and plead for life and watched as cancer killed them anyway.  I think that's a lot like sanctification.  Some folks get delivered immediately and others continue to wrestle with portions of their flesh the rest of their lives.  Why?  I think it's because there's a difference between outright willful sin and falling into temptation.  How can I prove this?  Well, I probably can't, but what I would point to is first the Lord's Prayer.  Why would Jesus, when instructing us how to pray, tell us to ask God to not "let us fall into temptation"?  If we are on some holy plane where we are completely past sin, what's the point of praying about it?  I think something that's still more powerful is what happens in Luke just a few verses up from Peter's denying Christ.  Jesus asks the disciples to pray and then goes away in private and pleads with the father to the point of sweating "like drops of blood".  He returns to find them asleep, and what does He say?  He says, "Get up and pray so that you will not fall into temptation."  Keep in mind, He's not talking to me and some of my friends.  He's literally talking to the Saints.  To the martyrs.  To the pillars of the faith!  That's what I see.  Do you know what I think Jesus saw?  I think he just saw a bunch of guys that were friends of His.  Guys he had fished with.  Men he had laughed with.  Humans.  Normal men who weren't perfect and weren't going to be, but Men who had made a decision to follow Him.  To love Him.  To try to be like Him.  But men He knew weren't always going to be successful at it.  And you know what?  That's ok.  Because he knew that it was a daily process for most of us.  He knew Peter's failure would mean more to me 2000 years later than it might have even meant to Peter at the time.  He knew that I would need to know that it's ok.  That He still loves me.  That no matter what, "nothing can separate me from His love."  But at the same time, He also wants me to pray for deliverance.  He wants me to put my shoulder into the plow.  He wants me to struggle to shake off more of my sinful flesh and to be like Him.  He understood that it's like a quarter.  You can't have the heads without the tails.  And, the sweet doesn't taste as sweet without the sour. 

Again, I'm not a theologian.  I'm just a normal man trying to make sense out of my life, and this is what I think.

 

This world is not my home.  

    

Saturday, September 3, 2016

Colors Bold and Bright


One of my favorite songs is by the group Dave Matthews Band.  It is entitle Grey Street.  It is written about a close friend of the band who committed suicide.  The author takes on her persona and is communicating the feelings of overwhelming hopelessness that she has.  It has always spoken to me because I feel that, although this woman was at the end of her rope, everyone can identify with her feelings.

The song starts out by eluding to her haunting memories.  During her daily life she "stumbles through her memories" and asks herself "Hey, how did it come to this?"  Don’t we all feel this way?  Aren't we all haunted by past mistakes?  What about those among us who are haunted with abuses?  Mental, verbal, or sexual… it's not just memories or your errors but of the terrible things that have been done to you.  So, what does she do?  She prays.  She prays to "God most every night", and "although she swears He doesn't listen, there's still a hope in her he might".  Because there's no response, she then decides to take "it on myself to get out of this place".  She dreams of "kicking out the windows and setting fire to this life" where she would "change everything about her using colors bold and bright, but all the colors blend together to grey".  In other words, the more she tries to fix it, the worse it gets.  To her, life is some kind of a trap that only constricts more as she struggles.  Ultimately, finding no other means of relief, she discovers that "though it's red blood bleeding from her now, it felt like cold blue ice in her heart."  She ends her life. 

How sad, but how accurate.  How often I have said to myself, "It's all a big nothing."  I mean, what's the point really?  Grow up, go to college, get a job, get married, have kids, repeat.  For what purpose?  And for those who are lost, that's it.  This song, while a song about an individual could just as well be the song of a dying generation.  People who have no hope and no future.  Yet, deep inside there is a longing for something more, and we are surrounded by it.  People are starving for something real.  They are so desperate that they will crawl into an oasis looking for water and finding none will drink the sand.

So what is the cure?  The same as it's always been, Jesus.  The only one who can give what Jeremiah called a "hope and a future."  Yes, I might get led into slavery as part of it, but I can't worry about that.  I can't worry about what is in my peripheral vision.  I have to stay focuses on Christ who knows me and loves me.  Who Paul says thinks of me as a brother.  People say that you should be careful about praying for God's will in your life because it could mean India.  To which I would say, what are you clinging to?  Do you not see how depressing and hopeless the cycle of life in America is?  We live in the Iowa of Christianity.  No scenery, no vision, no purpose.  Sometimes, I long for India.  I long for purpose and direction.  I long to change everything "using colors bold and bright".  Of course, I haven't done that yet.  I don't know what my purpose is.  Therefore, I have to stay focused on the Architect and remember…

This world is not my home.